God's Provision: Finding Favor in Another's Eyes
On June 22, 2019, I downloaded the Biblegateway app to find a way to read more random passages in the Bible. I like reading random passages in the Bible because it feels like God guiding me with a sign that He wants me to know. I do not believe anything in life is random, but that God controls everything for a good reason to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).
On this day, the passage was Esther 6-8. It was about how Esther used her position as King Xerxes’ queen to save the Israelites. I had read this story at least five times before. I knew Esther had won the king’s favor in Esther 2:9 “She [Esther] pleased him and won his favor” (NIV). Reading about how this favor turned into a blessing in Esther 6-8 gave me hope because it shows how God gives us favor in other peoples eyes to provide for us, take care of us, and bless us like in the stories of Joseph, Daniel, etc!
I am like a quadriplegic because I have a rare genetic, neuromuscular condition where my neurons and muscles die. I am on a ventilator 24/7 and eat through a feeding tube, called a g-tube, but I feel pain and pleasure more intensely because I have little to no muscles. I always rely on someone to survive. A lot of times, people taking care of me, including my family, will leave me lying helpless if I disagree or disobey or they do not like something I do until I agree or obey or they feel like helping me.
This story of Esther reminded me of how God has always provided someone to take care of me by softening their heart. God either softens the person’s heart taking care of me so that I eventually get my needs met or He brings someone into my life to provide for my needs.
This story also gave me hope that one day Giovanni might fall in love with me and marry me because we met when God made me find favor in Giovanni’s eyes. I was at a concert of the musician that Giovanni works for. Naturally, I was sitting in the front row in the wheelchair seating with all the disabled people at the arena. Giovanni said that he saw me backstage and something deep in his heart told him to come to me! So, after the show, he came to me, gave me his all-access pass, tenderly kissed my forehead, and took a picture with me! I tell him all the time that it was God moving in his heart when he felt something deep inside saying come to me. =)