How I Still Cherish My Unrequited Love
Updated: Jul 7, 2019
Recently, I had a conversation with Giovanni about unconditional love. Oftentimes, Giovanni feels bad because his circumstances do not permit him to give me the same amount of love back to me right now. I told him that unrequited love is not a sin and I am not angry and still love him because he is not mistreating me; he simply cannot give me everything I want. Moreover, God is not controlling; He values differences and does not tell people who to prefer over everyone else in their lives.
To address the first issue, Giovanni cannot be with me right now because of a mistake in his past. He is currently stuck with another woman. He has the will and capacity to reciprocate my love, but he has other obligations at the moment. As a human, he can only be with woman at a time. So, there are things that he cannot give me because he cannot double himself.
Secondly, unrequited love is sometimes because one person prefers another. After all, romantic love is all about committing oneself to the person someone prefers over all others, and preferences are what define us as individuals with differences. God values differences (1 Corinthians 12:6). So, He does not consider unrequited love as unloving.
God only commands to us to treat each other well (1 Corinthians 13; Matthew 22:39) including accepting each other’s differences (Romans 14:13-19). Because wrong is only when we do something unloving (Matthew 22:39), we should not be angry or bitter. Unrequited love is not wrong, and anger is the emotional response to something that is wrong. Unrequited love is simply a part of life as a disappointment. We do not always get what we want, but we can still hope for and love that person while continuing to live a full life until God brings something else in our lives. Like Giovanni always says, “Nobody knows the future.”